If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
