it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
