A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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