Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
