I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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