i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
