Do you still have your period?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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