Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
