i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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