# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
