Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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