Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
