My balls are so social today.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
