He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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