I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
