11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
