so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
