my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
