nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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