apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
