you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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