I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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