Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I faked an abortion last night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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