I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I deserve this hangover.
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