So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
