WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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