why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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