Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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