meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Everything about him screamed your future.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
