mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
