yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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