Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
