I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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