her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
