DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
