Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
