i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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