Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize