So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
