I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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