girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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