Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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