Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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