Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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