Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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