I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
