I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
