It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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