Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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