i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize