What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
