a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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