dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
