We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
