Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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