He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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