She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
