My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
