just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
