what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
