I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
