even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My dick has a subreddit
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
